black cat & orange cat
it's been a while since i last posted on here. this platform of mine has always been a special place where i poured my heart and soul into it since i was 13. where i tell most things that makes my heart full, or makes my heart ache. and i shared my happiest moment and darkest moment here as well, hence why it's called public journal. some of it was so dark and heart wrenching, i archived it lol. if you've been here for a while you would know the spirals i went on here. but i have been lacking in posting, because i've been feeling like my life hasn't been in the happiest, nor the darkest. its just like floating. i'm a floating cell existing. i haven't been feeling happy to the point where i wanna share it for months.
but, hey, im back here. you know what that means? that means i have something to share.
and its about the time i finally, feel at my happiest again. after a really long time :)
you may have noticed there has been a couple of love poems that i posted in the last 2 years, but i never really got deeper about it, so chat, this is, the love of my life reveal <3333
(hahahahah this is soooo 2015)
i don't really wanna get into of how we met, and the things we've been through, because i prefer to keep that to ourselves. but i wanna tell you the time i fell in love with him even deeper.
this amazing guy, came home to see me last January, and man, was it the best times of my life. laying eyes on him physically, made me had an epiphany of why i fell in love with him in the first place. seeing him again after 1.5 years of distance, made me melted into a puddle of adoration. i remember the whole ride to the airport, i was in a state of euphoria, serious tak tipu. i didn't even sing any song, or like vibing to it. i was dead silent, and focus on the road, I WAS SO EXICTED LIKE AHHHH.
then i parked, and literally rushed to the arrival halls while finding him, ketar beb lutut. macam first time nak jumpa. then, there he was. standing while leaning his back on his luggage cart. staring at his phone, texting me where he's specifically standing at. while i already found him. i came closer and he saw me and bam.
i fell in love all over again.
deeper.
i wish i could describe the feeling that i felt at that time but there's not even one word that came close to it. it was a very emotional moment for the both of us, and we looked pretty insane at the side of the elevator loll.
all the time we spent together while he's back home feels surreal to me, even to this day. we got to spent a lot of quality time together and i will treasure each moment of it forever.
he is a perfect guy. not because of the things that he does for me, but because the way that he is and tries to be. he is not perfect because he has no flaws, he is perfect because he realized what his flaws are and be better. he is not perfect because he never made a mistake, he's perfect because he apologized for those mistakes and change himself and never repeats those mistakes. he is perfect because he makes me better, and try to be better, without him asking me to. he is perfect because he never stopped trying. he is perfect because he showers me love when he doesn't have any inside him. he, is perfect.
being together with him is my greatest blessings. he makes me feels so happy to the point my cheeks were hurting after spending time with him. he makes me feel so loved and never was embarassed to show it to everyone. he is a light to everyone around him, and some people can't see the brightness that he carries. and he doesn't deserve that. he deserves to be celebrated for all the lights he carries because it was never easy for him to keep those lights on with him. he keeps giving and giving when he barely had crumbs left for him and he doesn't get the recognition that he deserves.
in this agonizing cruel unappreciative world,
where every human surrenders to the least they can get,
he deserves the best kind of love,
a sanctuary where he could find solace in the warmth of another soul,
a shelter where he could fly his wings without any terror,
a space where every tear shed is a symphony of release,
every sigh is a harmony of relief,
every word uttered is heard by attentive ears that catch every tender sound,
and I yearn to fulfill these measures for him.
sayang, i love you so much. i hope everyday that you live through in this lifetime, you can feel the unconditional love that i have for you. i hope that every little things that you go through, you'll rely on my shoulders so it won't get too heavy for you. i promise that every achievement that you'll accomplish will be celebrated by me be it the smallest thing to the biggest one. you will always have me by your side, your number one cheerleader, your most enthusiastic supporter, and your aisha. i love you to the heaven and back, my one and only love.
madly in love,
aisha
26.03.2024 Bangi, Malaysia