eating the crust or the toppings first?

how do you eat your pizza? do you get the crust side first and then the best part (the topping filled part)? or, are you finishing that hot chocolate til the last sip, then you devoured the caramelized whipped cream? why do we do that? why do we put on hold the 'best' things in our lives and put ourselves through something we wouldn't enjoy as much first? is it because we crave the sense of accomplishment? 

i've learnt in life, you do things subconsciously when you are used to a 'pattern'. like how we just do certain things because we are used to it, but there is no wrong in doing it in other ways. oh you keep your cash in your wallet according to its value? what's so wrong with putting it arbitrarily? you take the strawberry leaves off? what harm is gonna cause if you eat it? who actually cares if you eat pizza as breakfast? ok probably your doctor will but you get my point. 

we do these things in life according to the 'steps' we've gotten used to the point that we forget we can do it just any other way. why do we postpone our happiness? why do we feel the need to save it for a better time?

i remember, once i wrote a heartfelt letter for a friend before i went for college, but i was waiting for the 'best' time to give it to her, because i want her to feel the 'happiest' and in a sense, make me feel the 'happiest' too. i kept delaying it and delaying it. and now, we barely even talk. we haven't seen each other in ages. we stopped making plans and just, out of each other's lives. i was cleaning up my room the other week and found that letter, and remember feeling so, sad. 

hahaha i guess that's what sparks this thought hence this entry.

i always put things on hold because i was too scared to do it. im always in my most comfortable zone that if i experience anything slightly thrilling or euphoric i'll never shut up about it. i'm that pupa who wants to be a butterfly but never wanted to leave its cocoon. but when i did left my cocoon, i made loads and tons memories that will always be a part of my  heart. when i left my cocoon, i had crazy amazing times with my fellow beautiful butterfly friends. i discovered the sweetest, most beautiful, a lucky find nectar that i planned to keep it in my life for the rest of my life (yes, you reez). i also found so much beauty within my wings, spiracles and all parts of me.

stop putting plans for later, when you're married, retire, or just, 'later'. what if you never have the chance to do it again? what if later never come? what if you never got to experience later?

point is, stop postponing your happiness. choose your joy now. eat the middle part of the pizza first, start that long overdue painting project now, try that famous restaurant tomorrow, adopt that oyen that keep coming over to your house, try that new drink, say i love you to the people you love, buy that shoes (exception given if you're waiting for it to be on sale) just  do what you want. you are in control of your life even when it feels like it doesn't. you choose your own destiny. and if it didn't work out, oh well, at least you learnt.

0512AM